I’d apologize again for not posting in a week- but that’s getting kind of old, is it not?
Whilst sitting in Starbucks this morning I noticed something that I’ve probably seen frequently but never taken the time to actually think about. A couple was in line to order their drinks and the girl, about my age, stepped forward to pay for both. What I noticed was that the guy backed up and looked very awkward. I think it’s important that girls do their part in a relationship and don’t always let the guy do everything, or in some cases make the guy do everything. Does that make a guy feel weird? I hope not.
That’s all I had to say about relationships.
The class I’m taking right now is a drawing class for art majors. I was really excited about it because it’s my first studio art class ever but my excitement was only out of naivete. The first day of class we were given a list as long as my arm of supplies we needed to buy and the next day we were shown a still life and told to draw it.
Naturally, my pea-sized, left-dominant brain was like “I can draw a stick figure but if you want a still life you’re gonna have to come over here and move her hand because I sure as hell can’t.” That went over like a lead balloon and my drawing of what was supposed to be a plastic cup and a vase of flowers ended up being a blob and a circle with a flower on top. It was really lovely. So after class that day I called my dad and said “I’m going to fail!” and he said “go to law school” and I said “okay I’ll do better tomorrow.”
My first major was law and I had thought going to law school was my dream and that I’d be a prosecutor and everyone would do what I say. Not so much. I sat through a couple government classes and that pea-sized brain once again spoke and said “girl, please.” and that was the end of that. So I sat down and I said, what is the exact opposite and infinitely more exciting than law? ART. (More specifically graphic design, or in my case industrial and product design. You know like cars and computers.) Well that wasn’t exactly how it happened but I ended up enrolling in the Arts and Technology program at UTD with my pea-sized brain thinking “that sounds exciting” and then being slapped in the face by programming classes. I hate Java and UTD so that wasn’t really a good fit for me so I looked at a couple other programs. There was Communications Design at UNT, but that was a pretty hard core program that I would have a hard time getting into this late in the game. There was also a run of the mill design degree from UTA. And then, there was a studio art-based graphic design degree at Harding University.
For those of you who are like I have no idea what that is, and that’s probably most of you- Harding University is a small Christian college somewhere in Arkansas. I say somewhere because I am a Texas girl so if you can’t relate it to ” west of DFW airport” or “just along 35″ I can’t really describe it to you. I found out about it through some friends and research. The paperwork is done but I’m going out to visit in a few weeks so that’s probably where I’ll end up.
ANYWAY- back to my drawing class.
So I went back to class the next day (because my skipping days are LONG GONE) and I drew a pretty good flower and vase- I’ll try to post pictures to my Flickr account later. I’ve had a couple of rough days since then- when the oil paint or the charcoal or the conte crayons just WOULD NOT COOPERATE or my pea-sized brain was saying, “seriously, Caitlin- go to law school.” I have been getting better, though, and tomorrow I get my second assignment back so that will be the moment of truth because my first assignment grade was an 80 which was most disappointing since I have been on an all A streak since returning to school.
It’s a pretty fun class and the people in it are pretty interesting but I will save my comments on them for a later date so I can have a post dedicated entirely to pissing people off which in turn gets me comments from “anonymous” people who think I’m bitter. In case you’ve never used WordPress, all IP addresses of commenters are made available to me, so next time you want to leave snarky comments either use your name, or don’t do it at UTD.
Alright, time to make another attempt at paying my cell phone bill, though if AT&T can’t get their servers back up, I’m going to pretend like my bill is paid.
Have a lovely Sunday, everyone.
4 Comments
UHM.
GIRL.
ARKANSAS?
A CHRISTIAN COLLEGE.
FAIL.
I CAN’T READ ANYMORE OF THIS BLOG RIGHT NOW. I HAVE TO GO WEEP.
Okay, though it’s cute, stop saying “my pea-sized brain.” It’s not helping you. You’re in college? College age? If so, I’ve been painting all of your life. (Yikes!) Maybe the instructor for your class is extremely shy? Why is the instructor not teaching observational skills! (Oh, well.) Here’s what you do: spend some time just looking at the still life set up (or other subject you’re supposed to draw). Ask yourself, have dialog with yourself, “what is most interesting, pleasing about this arrangement of things?” If you hate the still life and are allowed to rearrange it, put into a kind of order that engages your thoughts. Or substitute their art school stuff with your stuff, things that you want to look at and that have meaning to you. You want to be involved enough in the act of looking that you can begin learning to see purely visual qualities such as the shape, the proportions between objects, the light and dark patters, the colors (with some exactness). If you’ve never painted or drawn and are not used to this manner of observation, naturally it takes some getting used to.
At first pay great attention to the objects and much less to your drawing. Make it about noticing qualities and trying to transcribe them. If you were listening to a lecture in class, you cannot write down every word the speaker says. You concentrate on main ideas and themes. It is similar with drawing. At first be content to notice what you notice and record it with as much exactness as you’re capable of making.
Now, why you MUST stop saying the “pea-brain” thing: it’s like a mantra of “I can’t” and it’s also an excuse of “I won’t.” If you say in advance that you’ll fail, you give yourself permission to cop out.
Believe me, I know whereof I speak. Though I’ve been drawing a long time, I recently began learning to play violin. About five years ago. I had no teacher and still don’t. But I never told myself I’d fail. Au contraire, I imagined I was Anne Sophie Mutter. And I practiced like a demon. Now, I’ve no where to go with this. There’s not a violin career for someone who begins that late! I just did it for love. And, these days I play pretty good when I’m really warmed up. I play jazz. And I improvise. Don’t know what it will sound like in advance.
The experience of learning and playing violin is also feeding back into my art. It has changed the ways I think about line, for instance. And it’s changed the way I view work. I understand the value of “practicing” an idea a few times just like I’d work on a new riff for violin.
Decide that you want to learn a little about art, go into it with a serious decision to work. You will learn new things about yourself and they’ll translate and cross-over into other activities in your life. You’ll be a more well-rounded student.
Trust me.
Now start drawing!
Just tell people that we’re about an hour northeast of Little Rock.
Sedgewick returns triumphantly, albeit tiredly, from about a month away from late night blog response. “The Road” is an evil mistress and oft requires a pound of the Sedger. In this case, much of my June was consumed by work-related hubbub that selfishly consumed my freewriting time.
Here’s hoping for a better July, writing-wise, anyway.
I’m kind of agreeing, kind of disagreeing with Aletha here. Lemme ’splain…
Agreement: the whole ‘pea-brained’ thing paints you as lacking confidence and conviction. Reading these few slivers of your life as I have, you don’t strike me as a lamb among the wolves… you opine boldly. Yeah, you’re a little naive about some things, but I’d imagine you’re in your young 20s or so and probably have experienced just a ton of life away from the confines of home. Sedgewick is not generally considered and oracle of any means, but if you will hop up on my lap here, I’ll whisper a kind and sagely bit of advice…
Never sell yourself short. You clearly have talent and ambition. The first stage of defeat is believing you can be defeated. I’d point out a pea-sized chunk of plutonium – properly prepared and configured – is capable of a several kiloton explosion, more than enough to lay waste to a several-square-mile area.
Your homework, then, is to rewrite your post omitting all pea references and giving yourself the benefit of the doubt that you’ll kick academic butt and administer very severe academic noogies.
Disagreement: Art of any kind – painting, sculpting, music, dance – is subjective. It is also innate. Sedgewick has some artistic sinew in his body (buried under all the other stuff) and is married to someone who is comparatively bereft of same. I can sit and doodle while on the phone and sketch what’s on the coffee table with no problem… the Official Bride cannot with ruler and protractor design and reproduce a scene if a billion dollars were dangled before her and a shotgun aimed at her occiput. It doesn’t happen in her head.
I believe artistic talent can be developed and evolved, but not generally by following some “do this and this will happen” blue print. So Sedgewick’s artistic advice to you is this: experiment. Figure something that inspires you – maybe music. Get your fave tunes grooving, put on your favorite t-shirt, get comfy and just cut loose. If that doesn’t work, kill the tunes turn down the lights and draw naked. If that doesn’t work, find something else and try it. At somepoint, you’ll hit a combination that frees the mind. Once you free your mind, your butt will follow.
Know this… you may not be an artist. That’s okay, too. You overcome that kind of stuff and you move forward. You sound like a bright and resourceful girl – I have no doubt you’ll find something that works for you.
Finally, I have to tip the cap to Brenda. Rarely it is that someone writes something so short that makes me laugh out loud. Gad, you have no political future. The four-word-rejoinder “Gad. Girl. Arkansas? Fail.” may be among the most concisely phrased expression of disgust I have ever read.
Sedgewick is most pleased by this and now relinquishes the dais.